Iron Man

Last night I hit the theaters to go see Iron Man. It was one of the few times lately I’ve been able to enjoy myself, because teenagers aren’t allowed to go to the movies at 9:00 on a Thursday, and the small crowd meant that only one idiot refused to turn off his Blackberry and texted through the whole thing. Jackass. The humans I was with were big fans of the comic, and even developed a drinking game to celebrate the premiere. They smuggled in a flask of Scotch, and every time Tony Stark took a drink, they passed it around. So clever!

Because cinema can now do anything with CG, it’s rare that a flick can really wow audiences with stunning visuals and exciting action sequences that remind you why it’s fun to go to the movies. I predict this one will do very well, grossing at least $300 million domestic. Director Jon Favreau is all grown up, but hasn’t abandoned his roots, quirky sense of humor, and simple style that made us all fall in love with Swingers. Couple that with terrorists getting beat down in the most creatively violent ways imaginable, and you have a cinematic gem. This movie did very well on my Checklist of Movie Rawkitude:

First and Most Important: Robots?

Not only are there robots in this movie, but it’s one of the first times that I’ve ever seen their presence taken as matter of fact. Typically robots serve one of two functions in film; to bring in some kind of horrific apocalypse that can only be stopped by a pasty Keanu-Reeves type, or to show how bizarrely overspecialized electronics will be in the future. For once, it was nice to see robots serving functional, useful purposes, seamlessly integrated into daily life and even being treated no differently from humans.

The other positive thing for me was that the protagonist of the film spent at least a third of the running time completely encased in very gorgeous, sexy, and powerful robotic armor. Yummy. I’m gonna have to look into some of those upgrades for myself. Now, he’s nowhere near as hot as my honey Master Chief, nor as studly as my hero Optimus Prime, but the Iron Man armor makes Robert Downey, Jr. close enough to a cyborg for me. He can join the robot army now, just because he was so stinkin’ cute all dressed up like he was a real robot. You know, kind of like how doggies are cute when you humans put those stupid sweaters on them.

Characters?

Considering the cast, it’s not surprising that it was very good. I was even able to forgive Gwyneth Paltrow for past crimes against Jane Austen and William Shakespeare after her understated performance. The break from acting did her well. She’s not as smug and nasal as she used to be, and having two babies finally put some curves on her. She did well with her character, considering what she had to work with: yet another lovely, long-suffering lady on a pedestal with absolutely no ability to add anything up to pine after her flawed and tortured love interest in the manner of Mary Jane Watson and Betty Ross. Paltrow was able to give her character a nicely jaded sense of irony, and she gets two thumbs up just for successfully Not Being Katie Holmes.

Jeff Bridges made a surprisingly compelling Bad Guy, although it took me a few minutes to recognize him. This role exposes a wickedly charming ability to be a backstabbing SOB who can smile at you every step of the way. Nice! Robert Downey, Jr. was an ideal selection for the title role. The part of Stark could have easily come off as a heartless corporate pig, but his balanced acting gives off the impression that Stark is not evil– just cavalier and even naive in assuming that Bad Guys are only found among Them and not Us. It’s impossible to be angry with him when he drinks, shows off his weaponry with matter-of-fact showmanship, verbally abuses his robots as if they were college roommates, and staffs his plane with hot pole dancing stewardesses. His dry, cynical, and unapologetic demeanor says it all to the audience: if you were a billionaire genius and you could do all this, wouldn’t you?

Action?

Most flicks make you pick between acting and action. This one gives you both, which scores a big win in my book. Iron Man steers clear of George Lucas mid-life crisis syndrome. You know, where story, plot, and characters are largely ignored to leave audiences wondering why the confusing and cluttered mess of vomit before them is being played in a movie theater and not on an XBox. instead, Favreau follows the wiser path of Peter Jackson. Everything that can be done in real life is done; there are strong characters and a good plot. When the CG elements were brought out, they were seamlessly integrated into the world, functional yet flashy, and supported the action rather than dominated it.

I strongly recommend this movie for anybody fifteen and up. There is no swearing and the violence is not tasteless, gory or gratuitous. But there is moderate representation of irresponsible sex and alcohol abuse, so parents can use this as a pretext to leave their young teens at home with a babysitter. That way they can actually enjoy the show. Neener, neener, kids!

This is definitely not a rental. See it in the theater, because this is what big screen fun is all about.

Update: Saw it again this weekend. It’s just as much fun the second time around. Get your kiesters to the theater, humans!