Posts under ‘MonkeyBot’

Commander Quin,
Please find enclosed my completion report on the following tasks:
1. Fifteen peices of desk flair to decorate my cubicle.
As specified, the can of compressed air is no longer the only item on my desk besides my computer. I developed an algorithm that identified the ideal combination of clutter that would be the most convincingly [...]

Commander Quin:
I would like to reiterate my claim that I believe that this series of assignments are a misappropriation of my abilities. Had I realized this mission would require actual interpersonal contact on a non-destructive level, I may have requested a different posting. Humans are, in the vernacular, icky. Be that as it may, I [...]

Commander Quin,
Please find enclosed my essay on Star Wars. It is not of the recommended length, but I feel I should get full marks for efficiency.

Summary of “Star Wars” by MonkeyBot

Episode 1: Millions of robots die. Then the whiny diminutive human gets a haircut.
Episode 2: Millions of robots die. Then the ninja hobbit fights Saruman.
Episode [...]

So last night I ran over a traffic cone
MonkeyBot stikes again
I was driving back from my book club.
I don’t know what posessed me to do it.
But I knew I had always wanted to.
Carpe Diem.
So I did it.
It flew up in the air and sailed over the unoccupied lanes like a big orange goonie bird.
It was [...]

Having sequestered myself in the rear of the mammalian’s primitive cinema-dome, I subjected myself to this travesty in the hopes the robots would win. Or at least make a good showing. Once again the mechanized nation was cast as being universally stupid, subservient, and generally useless.
At least our animated representatives moved with more realism than [...]