Rejoice, robots! Cyborg has hired us an intern. Everyone say hello to Intern Molly:
Intern Molly, who is totally stoked because she has just been told she is our new slave.
She is 20 years old, dumb as a box of rocks, and is majoring in Theater Design with a minor in psychology. I calculate that she [...]
Posts Tagged ‘humans’
Our New Sla– er, Intern.
Task Completed: Human Logic Processing
Status report 08.11.03: I have now broken down the schematics for human logic. Had difficulty as initially did not detect divergence of male-female logic paths until very recently. Please distribute the following diagrams among robots for absorption into social programming for more effective inflitration. Note that male coding is compact and elegant, but not reliably [...]
Sniffing for Love
Is it unromantic or more romantic that we’re getting down to the science of love? There’s now a dating service that claims to connect people on the molecular level. In blind sniff tests, women prefer the chemical scent of guys with sufficiently dissimilar Major Histocompatibility Complex. That’s fancy science talk for saying that you’re hardwired [...]
Wheat Grass is Disgusting
Of all human customs, ritual ingestion of things that are (a) harmful (b) disgusting and/or (c) toxic is the most befuddling to me. Ethanol is the most typical example. Despite the fact that ingestion of mass quantities can lead to stupidity, pregnancy, death, public vomiting, and/or embarrassing YouTube videos, you twits still do it. But [...]
Iz in ur subconshuz doomin ur dreamz
Just got this e-mail from a former fellow worker drone:
The strangest event just unfolded: I had a nightmare (well, it was scary at the time) that you were chasing me as an evil robot from Xanthur that wouldn’t allow me to leave the planet. I couldn’t destroy you or any your fellow foes for the [...]