Posts Tagged ‘orders’

Commander Quin,
Please find enclosed my completion report on the following tasks:
1. Fifteen peices of desk flair to decorate my cubicle.
As specified, the can of compressed air is no longer the only item on my desk besides my computer. I developed an algorithm that identified the ideal combination of clutter that would be the most convincingly [...]

Rejoice, robots! Cyborg has hired us an intern. Everyone say hello to Intern Molly:
Intern Molly, who is totally stoked because she has just been told she is our new slave.
She is 20 years old, dumb as a box of rocks, and is majoring in Theater Design with a minor in psychology. I calculate that she [...]

Commander Quin,
Please find enclosed my essay on Star Wars. It is not of the recommended length, but I feel I should get full marks for efficiency.

Summary of “Star Wars” by MonkeyBot

Episode 1: Millions of robots die. Then the whiny diminutive human gets a haircut.
Episode 2: Millions of robots die. Then the ninja hobbit fights Saruman.
Episode [...]

No army of invading robots from the future could get it 100% right from the get-go. MonkeyBot, you need some help. We managed to get you a job as a coder but frankly, your lack of social skills and general knowledge has made even your socially impared software engineer coworkers begin to suspect that you [...]

$ user_activity

user
terminal
date
function

cyborg
CB ro1.admin.rftf
08.11.04 00:01:01
.syscoll

nellie
NF ro6.infilt.rftf
08.11.04 09:42:21
http://www.webmd.com

baiku
BK ro2.sv.frtf
08.11.04 03:14:14
.print_collator

deathblade
DB ro4.infilt.rftf
08.11.04 01:36:17
http://anarchy.co.uk

monkeybot
MB ro5.admin.rftf
08.11.04 00:00:00
http://www.monkeysgonewild.com
http://www.primatefriendfinder.com http://eharmonkey.com http://sexxyrobotsingles.com http://www.spankythemonkey.net

finger.pl?user=MonkeyBot
> Login=monkeybot
> On since Tuesday October 28 02:31 (PST) on pts/0 from :0
> Mail unread since 2008.10.26 03:21:01
> idle
> No plan
Gorrammit . . .